I think the real problem was I was comparing myself to all the wonderful bloggers I follow. Seeing how much they were accomplishing and me getting little done and I let it get to me. And then I joined the 100 Days of Tula Pink challenge and it really kicked my butt. I loved it, don't get me wrong, but having to post something every day for 100 days was just pressure that I didn't need. I found myself not wanting to write my blog, read other blogs or even sew.
Now I've not been to a doctor, but in my opinion I think I was just depressed, in a blue mood, funked out...I could call it a hundred other names but it all is the same. I found I didn't want to do anything, I was late on bee blocks for the first time, because I just couldn't get the "umph" to do them. And that made it worse, because I felt I was letting people down.
I decided I needed a little break, and I really only planned to stop for about a month. I thought that would give me time to refresh my batteries and get going again. But it has been over 6 months. I have thought many times about writing, but to be honest I wasn't sure what to say.
So I didn't write. I just stayed in my funk. The really funny thing is I missed writing. I just didn't miss the pressure to write. So over the holidays I did some thinking and I had to make a decision. Do I want to continue to blog? And I decided yes. But I'm not going to pressure myself to have a certain number of posts a week, I'm not going to pressure myself to finish X amount of projects this year. I'm just going to have fun with it.
So in that vein I picked a word for 2018...ok I actually picked 3. I read a cool blog post about selecting the word of the year and the author actually selects three words. Which I thought was a good idea, because it allows you to focus on more than one thing and for my crazy brain, that sometimes helps. I'm sure you are curious about the words I chose.
Move - I have to move more, plain and simple. My knees are giving me lots of grief, but I can't let that stop me from moving. I drive 100 miles 5 days a week, and work at a computer for 8 hours a day, so that means I sit a lot. I have to find ways to work in moving more. I'm not just saying this like it is magically going to happen, we have already bought an exercise bike and now I just have to make myself use it daily.
Stash - This word has double meaning for me this year. The first is after the expensive year we had last year, I want to stash away cash...build my savings. I want to re-exam my budget and find ways to save money. This leads to the second meaning to the word. I have enough fabric to sew for years and not buy any, so that is what I want to do. I want to use more of what I have and not buy new. I did not sign up for any bee's this year, so I shouldn't have to buy for others. There is one exception I'm giving myself and that is there will be a new baby in my family this year, and if I have to buy fabric to make a quilt for him/her then that is ok. Other than that I'm ignoring sales (as much as I can), and trying to use what I have.
Grace - I recently saw a video on facebook where women were talking about the mean things they say to themselves. Things they would never say to anyone else, but they say to themselves on a regular basis. And I realized that I do that to myself all the time. I am never good enough, and if I do something good and someone says so, in my head I stay they don't know about all the times I suck. So this year my goal is to be kinder to myself, and also to be kinder to others. I need to cut myself and others some slack. I know this one is going to be hard for me, but in the long run, it will probably have the best results.
Ok so I'm starting off 2018 with three words to focus on and hopefully master by the end of the year. I don't know where 2018 is going to lead me, but I'm hoping somewhere fun. I've already been working on grace for myself and I've decided that I'm not going to push myself to complete specific project, I'm going to let things flow more naturally. So I'm not sure I will be posting every week, but I hope to post more often than once every six months.
And since I hate blog posts without photos, here is a photo of the last project I did. It is much further along now, but I will save that for later (because I don't have pictures of it yet.
